Men are from Earth, Women ... they do not even know where are they from...

The greatest difference between men and women is that men are straight forward with what they want/need, but women expect that men figure out/guess what they want/need! To make things even more complicated for us, they "tell" us what they want/need but they do not say exactly what they mean, they say something else but it is more like a clue, a guessing game! For example, a woman will say something like... "I do not want anything for my birthday"... a man will take that literally, that the woman does not really want anything! When a man does not bring anything, the woman gets upset and begins talking to her girlfriends and having a long face, because the "pig" did not even have the decency to get her a present! Common ladies... make it simple... just say what you really mean... be straight and things will be much better....

Candlelight.......

An amazing concept! Did you ever light a candle and just seat there and look at the flame? WOW! It is never the same! The flame moves as if it is graciously dancing the waltz of life! What you see at one moment it is gone forever never to be seen again. So, you must look, enjoy, absorb, and appreciate everything right then and there and not worry about the past or the future; because the past is gone and can never be recovered, and the future will bring you new things to enjoy. Love the moment; do what brings you happiness in your heart…

No Fear!

I have been thinking about this issue a lot lately! Fear can paralyze the common sense sensors of a person. With common sense absent, a lot of stupid decisions are made. My biggest fear was to be alone. This led me to some decisions which fucked up my life for the last few years. Nothing tragic but a lot of uncomfortable moments! There is nothing worst than letting your fears dictate how you make decisions. Believe in your self and always have as your guiding light the values, needs, and wants which make you who you are! Long for happiness! No fear will lead you to that!

The goal......

Spirituality leads to happiness! What leads to spirituality are virtues of trust, truth, commitment, honesty, transparency, loyalty, and respect for our selves and others. Those are the values which allow us to develop depth of character and in turn help us truly love, care, forgive and be peaceful, be confident about our selves, and ultimately be happy. All this is a process and not a destination. Betrayal brings sadness but not hate, because hate is poison in our souls. When we disrespect others we actually cheat ourselves of the opportunity to happiness, to love, and to be loved. At the end of the road, material possessions cannot be counted, but having someone who truly loves you to hold your hand, kiss you softly, and tell you how beautiful it has been; that is priceless.

Shadows have no Soul

I will find my way, the fear is gone
Something has changed since you have been away
I cannot wait to smile again
I feel the urge to run towards the sun

I must remove the negative which sucks on my soul
Shadows cannot see themselves in the mirror of the sun
I have had enough, I am gonna stand up straight
I am ready to fight each day

I have faith, I will be back on top
No doubt in my mind, will waste no time
I will put some soul in this heart of mine
I can reach that open sky

Demetris Hadjisofocli
September 20 2008

The meaning of words……

I occasionally use words that are considered to be bad, negative, vulgar or improper, to help me make a point. I do not believe that there are bad or inappropriate words because words are attached to the meaning we give them as human beings. So, if the common meaning we give them is considered to be bad, then we should reconsider our understanding of the particular word. First, let us understand the definition of any word;

- A word is a unit which is a constituent at the phrase level and above

The official definition of what a word is has nothing to do with the meaning of the word. Thinking about it, I have even stronger conviction that there are no good or bad words but just words! So, run away with it and use the words that most express you, at the moment you choose to use them and do not worry about what others will think. If they need to recalibrate something is the “ethical meaning” they have assigned to the so called “bad words”!

On the Subject of Dishonesty.....

People in general are dishonest! However, if you ask anyone, they will tell you, and actually convince you, that they are the nicest people and they are always straight forward. Based on my experience, there are very few people who are straight forward and honest enough to tell you their truth! There are many excuses used to mask dishonesty and some of the most popular ones are; I did not want to hurt your feelings, I did not know what to say, I did not know how to say it, I did not want anyone to think bad about me and many other like minded and weak statements. In reality, what they mean is that they are “weak, selfish, and unfair people who think only about themselves”! Even thought the truth hurts sometimes, dishonesty hurts even more, especially when it is planned and it is underlined by ulterior motives. If you happen to come across honest and straightforward people cherish them, love them, respect them, and honor them with the same.

On the Subject of Change....

Change is always difficult and people tend to resist any kind of change. However, without change we will still be leaving in caves. Incremental change is vital to the very survival and transformation of our social, economic and cultural ecosystem. Change occurs for two basic reasons; either by design or by necessity. Visionary individuals can comprehend the strategic importance for bringing about change, and most often than not they push for changes at a fast pace because they assume that other people have similar acumen. The majority of people will resist this kind of visionary forced change. Change by necessity creates chaos because it lacks planning, preparation, and structure. It leads to unpleasant side effects, most important of which are the sense of loosing control and rejection. In the end, change can be viewed positively or negatively. My suggestion is that change should be encouraged and embraced! It perpetuates the very survival of the human race and all its activities!

Semper Fidelis

Semper Fi, which is an abbreviated version of Semper Fidelis, means Always Faithful! I love this moniker. It expresses me tremendously to the point where I am thinking about making it my fourth tattoo!

One of the most powerful feelings in the world is betrayal, but even a greater feeling is the ability to forgive but not repeat! There is a difference between forgiving someone who betrayed you but not go back to the relationship which bonded you with that person in the past and forgiving and going back without any recourse. I believe in forgiving and moving on, because if you linger around and you maintain hate and a sense of revenge in your mind, the only thing you will manage is to poison your thoughts and your way of life. So, forgive, forget, and move on! Let the perpetrator live with their conscious if they have one.

What the heck do they want!

Women in general do not know what they want! If a man is good to them, he is romantic, he works hard, loves them, and supports them as well as the rest of the family, they complain that there is not enough time left for them or that the guy does not give them enough attention. If the guy is an asshole and does not give a shit, then they go around complaining that he is abusive and a neanderthal.

So, the conclusion is that you must not be predictable! Keep the same basic values but do not be predictable with your relationships.

On the Subject of Personal Freedom....

We always hear about freedom, but we rarely define this wonderful and empowering concept at the personal level. We all understand, accept, and embrace the fact that countries should be democratic and facilitate freedom for their citizens because freedom ensures individual and national prosperity. We rarely speak, debate, or fight for individual freedoms. We say that we do, but in reality we fight for collective freedoms. This is kind of ironic given the fact that individual freedoms are the cornerstone, the foundation, of democracy.

The social institutions we created as well as the culture we promote are also a catalyst against individual freedoms. The term “it takes a village” entails numerous positive feelings and connotations, however, it also promotes individual imprisonment when it comes to the “village” norms and rules we must follow. If we dare not, then we become the village outcasts! In the end we leave our lives for the others! No wonder that 90% of people are not happy with how they spent their lives. It is also interesting that when it comes time for the “village” to set the norms on how we should behave, they are experts. However, when these norms are the cause of a major fuck up in our lives, then it is our fault.

People should define, leave, and enjoy their lives as best as they see fit. They should not even listen or try to understand the social norms set by previous generations, without even considering what is the current environment. Only when people enjoy their lives through individual freedoms as they are defined by them, will we be able to say that we are truly free and that we truly enjoy a democratic and fair society.

Embrace the meaning of these words in your life....

POWER CODES
- By embracing the diversity of human beings we will find the way to true happiness
- When we give to the world what we really want the most, we heal the broken part inside each of us
- Happiness exists in action, it exists in telling the truth and what your truth is, and it exists in giving away what you want the most.

POWER WORDS
- Life traveler
- Flyby
- Impact
- Pathfinder
- Resolve
- Maxed out
- Power
- Commitment
- Enlighten
- Energized
- Inspired

SUCCESS WORDS
- Passion
- Persistence
- Work
- Be good at it
- Focus
- Push
- Shyness/Self doubt
- Serve
- Ideas

ENTREPRENEURSHIP WORDS
- Accessibility
- Interoperability
- Adaptability
- Reusability
- Durability
- Affordability
- Entrepreneurship is about creativity and competition

Relationships .... Revisited

I have a confirmation of the fact that a good healthy relationship were you do not need to compromise, you have fun, you respect, and you truly love your partner are essential and they are the only way to do it! I have some new elements in the relationship realm for which I do not have a strong opinion! However, I have an egotistical opinion.

These issues have to do with age difference, prior marital status, kids etc. I do not believe that age difference should be granted important consideration in a marriage. I believe that compatibility is a most critical variable when deciding on a partner for a lifetime. Imagine two possibilities; a partner close to your age with whom you have nothing in common, cannot laugh with, cannot have a satisfying conversation, cannot go out with, a partner with whom you do not feel comfortable, or feel in peace etc. On the other hand, think about a relationship with someone you are compatible and with whom you want to enjoy the rest of your life. A person you know you can trust and respect. Would you care about the age of the second person? The prior marriage issue and the kids are little trickie! Obviously you will have to understand why the first marriage did not work and make sure that the person in your heart does not have some fundamental problems. Absent that, a previous marriage should not exclude anyone from being in your heart. The kids should be understood and be allowed to be involved in your lives. Having said that, kids are selfish sometimes and they should be controlled in a mature and respectful way.

Go make your life!

In Memory of my Beloved Father.......

A father, a husband, a brother, a friend, a chef but above all a good and decent human being respected by others and always with a smile on his face. He always had something positive to say about everyone and everything! He managed, he was lucky enough, to have a happy life full of love and care.

Charalambos Ioannou Hadjisofocli, born at the Cypriot village of Gerolakkos on May 26, 1926. His parents were relatively wealthy (as it is measured in material possessions) but he never really cared. After graduating the elementary school he decided to face life head on. He left the comfort of his family home to work at the construction site of the new Cyprus International Airport. He was also a musician! He was a soccer player! He was involved in the community! I cannot forget the last couple of days of his life while at the hospital his friends, neighbors, relatives poured in to see him. To perhaps connect with him, through his smile and kindness, one last time. He worked mostly with British and US organizations such as the US Embassy in Nicosia.

My sister and I adored him. He was the kind of father who was not involved in the details of our lives but he always cared. When I think about it, it was much better that he just tried to give us some basic direction about life, some important ethics and values to leave by, and then he let go. In some cases he was adamant about us following certain social norms but he was never a pain in the ass. He trusted us!

He never had anything bad to say about anyone! Always, with kind words and a smile on his face. People remember him for the proud, and quite an that he was. He was a family man!

We will miss you my friend but we will always remember you through good and bad. Everything that was your life will guide us through ours. Your legacy will be passed on to our kids and the people around us through the values you instilled in us.

Love you!

Swan song!

My father is sick! The doctors could have diagnosed my father's disease two years ago but they did not. However, I will not deal with the doctors' incompetence at this point! Now I am loosing my father! A gentle man who never had anything bad to say about anyone!

My father is 80 years old! Up until four weeks ago he walked 10Km a day, 5Km in the morning and 5Km in the afternoon. He was working from 3am to 10am every day except Sunday because as he was saying; work keeps you young! He could go about his daily routine without any problem and most importantly without help from anyone. Four weeks ago he was diagnosed with malignant metastatic cancer which started in his stomach with metastasis to his liver, lungs and possibly brain. In four weeks he lost 2/3's of his weight, he can no longer walk, go to the bathroom, take shower, eat, or do anything which four weeks ago he was taking for granted, without help. The worst is that my father is a person who cared about his personal health and two years ago when he had a short stay in the hospital for what it was described to us as a small stomach problem he already had the disease. These clueless doctors where incompetent at best if not reckless!

My father's life was colorful. He had some good times and some bad times. The worst was in 1974 when Turkey invaded Cyprus and my family became refugees with no home, no food, no work! My parents overcame the difficulties brought to them because of the invation and we had a good life. My parents, my sister and I had a loving relationship and we still do. We had some difficulties but our love for each other helped us overcome. My father was a good friend. I could tell him anything and he will always understand. He never offered his opinion with open arms, he was mostly a listener. Some times he was choosing the "glass half empty" road but he was rarely judgmental. People loved him! He was always polite and he was crazy about cleanliness! Sometimes he was heavy handed with my mom but that's who he was.

He is in the hospital now and we all try to make him as comfortable as possible. Each one of us in our own unique way. My mother is always sad and she just goes through the motions, my sister is serious and strong willed but sometimes she gets a little emotional, and I tease him a lot. I try to tell him stories while I take him to the bathroom, or when I clean him, or when I give him food. Sometimes he smiles and sometimes he gets upset. I just want him to be comfortable.

I know that soon I will loose my Dad but such is life. There is a beginning, a middle, and an end. I hope his life story makes him happy. I enjoyed all the moments with him, good and bad! He is in my heard and when he takes his final journey he will always remain in my heard. My Dad was above all a good human being. That's my Dad and I will always love him.

Reconnect

I have been absent from this blog for some time and a lot has transpired, which triggered my curiosity and no-shit juices, ever since! I am pretty certain that many things, good and bad, happen to all people but the life occurrences which trouble me most are the negative ones which could be avoided but they are not! The cliche that common sense is not so common dawns on me ever more often. I do not content that I am smart, or that I posses the ability or moral right to judge people, but I can tell you that in my book there are some people who do some very stupid things. I think that some people are so stupid that they should be legally forbidden to reproduce. Passing on stupid-DNA should be punishable by castration! I do not know if there is such a law anywhere in the world but maybe it is about time to consider such a remedy.

I think I mentioned before that I believe that the majority of the people walking the earth lack basic judgment, curiosity, intelligence! A good question could be; who defines good judgment, curiosity, and intelligence? I do not know but unless I have had a stroke, or alzheimer, or I am in general brain impaired, I could safely argue that 90% of the people are misfits. Yes, 90%! Next time you have a chance to look in the mirror (figuratively) try to figure out if you are a member of the 90% group or the 10% group. Do not be generous with yourself and if you are honest enough to face up to the possibility that you belong to the 90% there is hope for you. I look in the mirror all the time and still I do not know my group! So, good luck!

I do not want to mention anything specific but in due course I will write about my observations.

Street dogs are a social model worth evaluating

Did you ever invest the time to observe the street dogs roaming our neighborhoods? I did and what I found is extremely interesting. Some of the facts! These dogs are always dirty, they always seem to be happy, with few exceptions they are always healthy looking and in some cases overweight, they always look like they are rushing to get somewhere, they seem to know what they are doing and where they are going, they almost never fight, they can get a partner anytime-anywhere without many expectations, they take care of their little doggies, they find a way to spend the evening and the list goes on and on. What gets me the most is that these dogs do not look stressed at all, to the contrary they look extremely content and happy.

What if we (humans) follow the street dog lead and adopt some of their habits? We will have to take fewer showers, smile a little more, not work too hard to acquire unnecessary things, tell another person if we like them and in the case of the opposite sex express out desires with a howl, spend all day with our families playing around and scratching a lot, leave for the day and worry about tomorrow later, and in general have much less stress than we have now.

So, what do you think? Would you join the revolution, or maybe more appropriately; would you join the pack? Woof, woof!!!!!

Judgment and Stereotypes

People judge and stereotype each other often and unfairly!  Why do people have the need to put others down?  Why do we stereotype?  Does it make us feel better?  Does it make us feel that we are above commoners?  Does it make us feel smarter? I believe that it is all the above and then some. By stereotyping people and grouping it becomes easier to compare to us and justify our shortcomings.  The skin color, spiritual beliefs, academic education, place of origin, ethnicity, and financial stature are some of the most commonly used stereotypes!  However, none of these stereotypes truly validates our opinions of others or provides a framework of reference to our quest to appear better than others.  A true measure of who we are and the most valid stereotype is the quality of our soul!  Interestingly enough, our soul has no color, religion, money, education, or a country to call home.  Our soul is an abstract idea of who we truly are as human beings.  Our soul is a measure of our kindness, compassion, humanity, concern, and consideration of others!  In the end this is all that counts.  How do we tread and care about others is a measure of our soul.  So, if you want to stereotype do it based on the measure of your soul.

Merry Christmas

Christmas is good!  People are generally happier, more receptive, passing love more freely to their fellow human beings, their spouses, and their families.  The surrounding environment puts a smile on everyone’s face.  The lights, the decorations, the music in the air give an upbeat vibe to everything that moves.  During Christmas we understand and appreciate other people’s problems better and in some cases we even rush to help.  We kind of feel guilty to have so much fun, spread so much happiness, share so many smiles, and spend so much money while others suffer.  It makes us feel better if we share! Christmas makes us almost better people as if we change, who we are, for three weeks every year.  If it weren’t for all the materialistic craze which has no logical underpinning I could say that December is the best month of the year.  But this race to buy everything freestanding drives me nuts.  I do not understand why people exhibit a purchase behavior which defies all common sense!  They behave as if they start a shopping list beginning in January of every year and in December they go shopping.  Give me a break!  What a waste!  My suggestion is for the government to regulate all expenses for the month of December to a maximum of 20% of each person’s income.  This way, people will make more rational purchase decisions and come January they will not need to consume antacids to deal with their debt indigestions.  BTW, the suggestion about regulating spending is a joke, so if any government technocrats are reading the page do not get any brilliant ideas.

Public figureheads and accountability

There are several and easy ways to filler buster any act of accountability but the brave, ethical people who love their country stand up and face the music. Easy to say but extremely difficult to find these type of people, because people willing to be accountable for their actions are a species on the endanger for extinction list. I am appalled with anyone passing the puck but I truly dislike any public figurehead who uses the public airwaves to avoid any responsibility or accountability.  Why the heck do we vote for these people at the first place?  Do we do it just to secure a comfortable income for them or to put them on a pedestal? It seems that it is the case, because as citizens we do not react strongly against the political bull shit.  The empty promises, public resources mismanagement, and negligence are treated as if it is “comedy central”.  The common theme for politicians and other public figureheads is that “they will have a meeting to discuss and plan on how they will address a specific problem”!  How about doing their job and implementing existing legislation by holding people accountable for their actions and most importantly holding themselves accountable as opposed to hiding behind “busy work” and “bulls shit fill blah blah”. Citizens should wake up and smell the coffee and realize that political figureheads are accountable to us and we should hold them to the highest standards and expectations.